two bitter years

Written December 9, 2025, this poem reflects my thoughts on how I’ve changed throughout the process of seeking justice for what happened to me. Trigger warning for mentions of sexual assault.

it’s been two bitter years

time passes, but i don’t grow
stuck, a performer of this show
petulant, a brat whose story unfolds
i wish i had left it all untold 

an injustice system, you can’t heal
opening past wounds is all you feel
and just when you think it’s all over
round two hits, you’re barely sober

it’s been two years to the day
that i sat in a police station 
and told them about you
i told them all the truth
it tested my patience, 
and even though it felt like yesterday
it’s been two bitter years

learnt about how you made me be
and not a hint of guilt chews me (for what i did)
testified against you, told them the truth
you stole my innocence, you stole my youth

i’ll never be the same
i’ll never be the girl i was yesterday
“should i end me?” were my thoughts at 23
faced with court, couldn’t control my life

that’s what you turned me into, that was the price
an emotional turnover, loser of dice
at 21, you stole everything from me
my life, my love, all that i should be

trust taken, replaced solely with your lust
your actions that night, certainly not a ‘must’
maslow’s hierarchy doesn’t include rape
your actions, i still cannot escape (you’re still there, in my mind)

and, it’s been two years to the day
since i sat there, curled up in pain
recounted the stories of what you’d done
told the officer all that i had lost
two years ago, i told them the truth
all about my stolen youth
and two bitter years later
i’m here