2025

I wrote a poem about 2025. It was a crazy year for me and I’m glad that it is over. It definitely was not an easy year for me.

january
cautiously optimistic; the year starts
days take forever to pass, fears depart
“maybe i can turn this into a good year”
if i stick to the program, as long as i persevere”

february
writing a four pager is harder than it sounds
when it’s about your pain, sorrows get drowned
the whole month builds up to a trial
that shatters me, breaks me for awhile

march
a whole month spent in depression
trying to find joy, undergoing repression
finding out he’s dead, knowing i’m not all that
a coworker texts late one night with a cat

april
shifts with my favourite, trivia night at the bar
knowing fully goddamn well my hopes are too far
new flashbacks and old friends
reading obituaries, crashing out again

May
“you can’t spell separatist without ‘i eat ass’”
potato salad, time goes by fast
what seemed like the last normal month this year
i could go out, set up my own hammock without fear

June
Costco hotdog, graduation, tattoo show
breaking my body, joining torn, I don’t know
Sitting in graveyards, planning my 9/11 themed wedding
Trying to push back all that I am dreading

July
Seeing him and realizing that I’m not safe
knowing I’m not welcome, fearing the pain
Drunken embarrassment, sober mistakes
Mercury retrograde, transformative takes

August
Scorpionic ashes from which I will rise
Going on vacation? That’s my prize.
Overcoming the odds, achieving a win
No one at my birthday, a grievous sin

September
Surprise parties, sleeping with sirens
Lakeside hangouts, drinking, renewing a license
learning he’s not who i thought he would be
realizing we’re kind of the same, aren’t we?

October
Aurora hunting, wishing i was her daughter
Deleting screenshots, a lamb sent for slaughter
Fucking up badly, swearing to be sober
Going back to the mountains, several years older

November
Crashouts and spirals, combined with a good time
Cussing out a friend, committing a borderline crime
Visiting a place I’d never seen before
Drinking to the point where I’d end up on the floor

December
Thx for the mmrs, ending the cycle
Breaking old patterns, memories I recycle
Telling the truth to the people that matter most
Life’s a joke of which I’m the host